Dr Newitol – Why The Horners Are Horny For War

161. Ferej from Asagale, Southern Red Sea, Eritrea: The last time we heard from you was in November 2022 before South Africa. Since then, Abiy, referencing some warlord, made a feeble attempt at claiming the capital of my region, Assab, but you were never to be found. My question is: why are the citizens of the Horn, the Horners, always horny for war?

According to Ethiopians who have never been to the Red Sea, it belongs to Ethiopia.

Dr. Newitol: I am mostly into dry humor. One thing for shore, Abiy likes the sea and he likes the Nile. That tends to degrade people’s cognitive skills to Sea-Nile.

Here’s the hierarchy: Sub-Saharan Africa is more difficult to govern than the rest of the world; East Africa is more difficult to govern than Sub-Saharan Africa; Horn of Africa is more difficult to govern than East Africa. Count the tyrants the area has produced: Siad Barre, Mengistu Hailemariam, Omar Al Bashir, and Isaias Afwerki. If there is no agreed-upon succession plan, the worst kind of war happens.

162. Fiqr Atalelegn from Dur Betu, Western Gojjam, Ethiopia: In this day and age when we are learning “Dr” is just something people buy online, how do we know you are a doctor?

Dr. Newitol:  You don’t. You just have to allow for the possibility that it is real.  Just like Dur Betu Mi’irab Gojam may be real.

163. Ashebr Aradom from Embeyto, Gala Nefhi, Maekel, Eritrea: I hear you are into music: I am doing a cover song in Tigrinya of Bones & Biggie’s “Notorious Thugs: Let’s Ride.”  Can you translate the rest of the verses for me? So far, I have done the intro to the Biggie portion: “ዕጡቕን ሓደገኛን እየ…”

Dr. Newitol: Please stop.  We are still trying to recover from the shock about the revival of the mercifully-dead, long-forgotten song “Jolene,” a setback to feminism whose lyrics include: “please don’t take my man just because you can” repackaged as Zewdi and shared by all Eritreans proving that most of you have terrible taste in music.

164.Weretau Bezabeh from Tikil Dingay, Shoa, Ethiopia: Selam Newi Docter Newi? About our Northern Brotherhood.  What is the difference between Tigray, Tigre, Tigriyna, Tegaru, Tigraway and Tigrayit? I am always getting them wrong.

Dr Newitol: (a) Tigray is Northwest region of Ethiopia (b) Tigraway refers to a Tigrayan who is male, singular while (c) Tigrawayeti refers to Tigrayan, female, singular. (d) Wedi Tigray is male (singular) born of Tigray while (e) Gual Tigray is female (singular) born of Tigray, (f) Deki Tigray are descendants (plural) of Tigray and (g) Tegaru are Tigrayans (plural males and/or females.)  In Amharic, you call them Tigre.  But (h) Tigre are a people in Eritrea who speak what they refer to as Tigrayt but everybody else insists on calling Tigre. Tigrinya is a language spoken in Eritrea and Tigray.

Also, dear Mzungus: please refrain from pronouncing it as Tigrey.  It’s pronounced Tg-Rie. It rhymes with rye and pie.  Bye!

165. Mensura Humed from Ad Delyay, Mantai, Gash Barka, Eritrea: Why is it that you talk about Ethiopia all the time, but our Western neighbor, Sudan, is  in the throes of a destructive Civil War that you never mention?

My dark shades are shadier and my cane pointier than yours.

Dr. Newitol:  Sudan has been in a state of war since 2003 when Darfur non-Arabs rebelled against Arab rule and were ethnically cleansed, exiled, war-crimed for 17 years. And the world did nothing.  The “winners” of that civil war were military officers (later Generals) Abdul Fatah Al Burhan and Mohammed Hamdan Dagalo who was named My Protector (“Hmeiti”) by their boss, Omar al-Bashir.  They turned against their boss and coup d’etated him.   Then, Hmeiti turned against his fellow co-coup leader Al-Burhan and tried to coup him.   Like all African wars, it is an ethnic war pretending to be a national war.

166. Yimam Mamede from Islam Gbi, Gonder, Amhara, Ethiopia:  There were a lot of cars at Gorgora in Gondar, and I haven’t seen the place this busy, but my grandfather says it was Emperor Haile Selasse’s vacation spot.   Is the Emperor back?

Dr. Newitol:  Yes! But not that emperor, but the new one, His Majesty Abiy Ahmed, Conqueror of Tigray and Somaliland, whose clan, the Prosperity Party (PP), was having a wedding party, no, wait, it was having a non-prosperous looking meeting of its Executive Committee:

A PP wedding party: where the stew is cold and the beer is warm

167. Hayelom Afrehom from Habrenkaka, Wara, Anseba, Eritrea: You are up to the 7th question and you still haven’t mentioned global news that puts Eritrea in a great light: cycling phenom Biniam Girmay.  Why do you hate Eritrea?

Dr. Newitol: Bini won stage 3 on July 1st.   He won stage 8 on July 6.  So many stages, so many wins: you will tire of winning as Trump used to say.  He has put Eritrea on the map, and from now on, whenever people ask where Eritrea is, you can say, “you know Biniam Girmay?” because it was getting a bit embarrassing to say “you know Tiffany Hadish?” and only with hard-core rappers can you say, “you know Nipsey Hussle?”  But Bini has been, in the words of Nipsey, “grinding” all his life! More to come: he is only 24!  Here’s AI tribute to him:

But while we were celebrating him, we are not appreciating truly how impressive Weini Kelati was. Bini was the favorite, in some ways, and expected to win a stage, but Weini? Weini was not: you can tell from the commentary.  See how this small Eritrean just outhustles the favorites to represent her adopted home, USA, in the Olympics:

168. Bedasa Kelbesa from Qelem, Welega, Oromia, Ethiopia:  Is it true that the United States has received a list from the government of Abiy Ahmed to extradite all Ethiopians who have been identified as enemies of the State?

Dr. Newitol: Usually, when government officials meet, they tell us they discussed “bilateral issues of mutual interest” and we don’t know what this is but this time, yes, the Ethiopian Police Commissioner met with US Ambassador to Ethiopia to deliver exactly this message: please extradite my political enemies! The ambassador was non-committal but thanked Ethiopia for all it does to destroy America’s enemies.

Ethiopian official with government-issued dark blue suit, the State uniform, asks the American ambassador: “Deport’em!”

But then, within days, US Ambassador to Ethiopia, Massinga, said, “Psych!” and actually met in the US with some of the very people Ethiopia wants extradited: Yilkal Getnet (who hates PFDJ) and Gedu Andargachew, the former Foreign Minister of Ethiopia.

Whatever you do, don’t use Yemen as transit in your travels.

169. Rahwa Se’Are from Indabaguna, Tigray, Ethiopia:  I am hearing news that, not too far from me in Zager, they have discovered substantial gold and copper.  Who is going to dig and what will that mean to the people of Tigray?

Dr. Newitol: It’s eventually all going to be sold to a Chinese company but for now it is a Canadian company (ANS Exploration) and a UAE company (MITHRA) that are licensed to dig your land. Altau Resources owns 100% interest in Daro and Zager licenses.  What will it mean to the people of Tigray?  Probably enrich some TPLF officials and….that’s it.

Can you dig it?

170. Asheber Adenenom from Agameten, Deki Likay, Southern Region, Eritrea  Now look Newito or Lewito. We all know it’s Game Over for the Agame. They are dead and buried! They will never rise again! I don’t have a question, I just want to remind you of that. Game Over!

ፍርፍር ኢላ ልበይ!

Dr. Newitol:  Life before and after the #StupidWar of 2020-22 in Tigray:  There were 600,000 Tigrayan civilians alive, who are not alive anymore.  1.8 million to 2 million Tigrayans lived in their homes: now they are displaced.  Tigray’s development and economy and political maps has been set back 20-30 years.  Hundreds of thousands suffer from hunger and war trauma including conflict-related sexual violence (CRSV.)  In the rest of Ethiopia, millions are displaced, the end of Tigray War ushered the Amhara War, and intensified the Oromo War.  Schools are closed, roads are closed, freedom of movement is non-existent.  Ethiopian National Defense Forces losses are estimated in the hundreds of thousands. What did Eritrea pay in lives and limb to help create an Ethiopia which is much worse than it was before November 2020?