Dr. Newitol is a composite of three characters, one of whom is the editor. He takes questions from Horn Africans (yes, it is a thing now) and pretends to give answers. Dr. Newitol is now so popular, so big, it is sponsored. This edition is brought to you by “Senhit Dental” (slogan: we take any Cal!) & “Divorce Attorney Melaku Arega” (slogan: enafatalen!” whose audio messages are used as intermissions from your nagging questions.
101. Sennay from Geleb asks: Hey doc! What is the average number of times Eritrea Foreign Minister Osman Saleh uses the phrases “what you call” per minute?
Dr. Newitol. 2.2 WYC/m (“what you call” per minute.) Mileage varies with weather and whether driving on highway or surface roads.
102. Wubishet from Wendo Genet, Ethiopia asks: I worked very hard and mastered Amharic but today I saw this video and I don’t understand what this kid is saying. Can you please help?
Dr. Newitol: I speak 17 languages and not one of them is Addis/Arada/Sheger. Given the context, it is a condemnation of Team Lemma on a declining harshness scale of Jawar-Lemma-Abiy.
103. Betul from Fatma Arre, Eritrea asks: I was visiting Derbushet (Dahlak Islands) and I saw some Eritrean officials wearing suits and was surprised. What were they doing here?
Dr. Newitol: They were interviewing some of the Jehovah’s Witnesses who have been imprisoned for years. As you know, Eritrean officials don’t know how to express emotions like love, empathy and regret and they were taking notes from the Witnesses so they can share it with the families of the victims of Ethiopian Airlines.
104. Hawi Silas from Abergele, Tigry Ethiopia asks: I am a very optimistic person and I don’t buy all these claims that Ethiopians are at each other’s throats. For example, recently, I saw a logo of the Agew National congress and I was pleased to see it includes Hawelti Axum! That is Ethiopian solidarity! One Ethiopia lezalem t’nur!
Dr Newitol: The Agew are not thinking of solidarity but pride and heritage: they are saying we, the Agew, are responsible for Axum stela, the Lalibela monolithic church in Wollo and Fasilides castle in Gonder. We built it! Sounds like a recipe for a harmonious co-existence: no wonder Eritrean president awaits Ethiopian stabilization for Eritrean normalization.
105. Hamelmal from Asebe Teferi, Ethiopia asks: Greetings and all hail Haileselasse I. I will pause while you do. Now, I am with the “agar” party now called Hareri National League ሐብሊ until we change it and I want to let you know that if you are looking for our website you have to go to the waybackmachine because that’s exactly how Teferi would have wanted it.
Dr. Newitol: well, that was a complete waste of my time. Irie!back at you sister. This is a good time to introduce our sponsor for the show, Senhit Dental. We will be back after this message:
106. Samuel from Adi Shmagle, Eritrea asks: I don’t understand how the Government of Eritrea continues to claim it is making progress when all around me, all I see is, excuse my language, shit. Can you tell me anything that will change my mind?
Dr. Newitol: Is that Adi Shmagle in sub zone Berik Tsa’eda? Well, I don’t believe you are being fair. Right next to you, in TseAzega, the government is engineering a master plan that is worthy of celebration. Please try to be fair and read the graffiti inside which says: እቶም ኣካልብ ይነብሑ ገመል ዘመናዊ ሽቓቃት ትነድቅ:: ንኺድ ጥራይ! (the dogs bark and the camel constructs modern restrooms. Onward!)
107. Nech Nesh from Tikur Dingay, Ethiopia asks: There are now 107 registered political parties in Ethiopia. And you know how many of them are Amhara? Only Five. Five? Five? I have no proof but somehow I feel very oppressed. And some of my best friends are not Amhara…
Dr. Newitol: What matters is not quantity but quality. Part of the quality is the name, of course. And the winner, in this regard–by far, not even close–is ዱቤና ደግሜ ህዝብ ዲሞክራሲያዊ ፓርቲ. Top that, the other 106 of you.
108. Isaias Zeybele from Kabana Fele, Eritrea writes: I can’t expect anything from you so-called Dr Newitol writing for so-called Eritrea Digest. What do you have to say about this so-called pic of our great general Sebhat Ephrem who has returned to Eritrea. ዓወት ንሓፋሽ!!!! ዕልልልልል ደቂ ኤረይ ደቂ ሓላል መሬት!!!!
Dr Newitol: So EriTV who didn’t tell you he was shot, nor who shot him, nor where he is hospitalized is going to interview him? When you people lie like this are you aware that he has family members and these family members have mouths that they can use? He is healing, yes, but he is not home. So stop lying: it is not good for your health.
109. Maxamad Abdullah from Kismayo, Somalia asks: My wife, Gadisse Gudina, who is an Oromo Ethiopian and I, a proud Somali, live here in Doha, Qatar. We are watching TV and first came the Somali president, now the Ethiopian prime minister. We have a question for you: is there an Ibn Batuta award for wanderers because all I see both do is get on and off planes?
Dr. Newitol: Ethiopia PM has announced like his political heroes he will have foreign policy based on respect for all kinds of dictators, without discrimination, no matter if they are talking to each other. So that is why he was in Qatar. Somalia has taken a neutral stand in the UAE-Qatar feud and while its relationship with UAE has deteriorated, Qatar continues to invest heavily in Somali infrastructure. I don’t mean to make you and your wife mad but both of your Ibn Batutas were greeted at the airport by the Minister of Communications. One of them was seen off by a department head.
Before we hear from out next caller, let’s hear from our sponsor: Divorce Attorney Melaku Arega. We will be right back!
110. Desta from Limu Genet (NOT to be confused with Wendo Genet) Ethiopia: I was actually going to ask an important question but I forgot after I heard the message from your sponsor….
Dr. Newitol: That bad? I don’t listen to my sponsors. Should we stop having them?
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